Sacramento Surprise

The graduate program consists of three options of a final project before achieving the degree: writing a thesis, creating a thesis project, or comprehensive exams. I chose exams.

The exams consist of three exams on three different topics we have taken in the program. To sum things up, I took my first exam and did not pass. I had no idea how depressed I would be.

I had never felt so depressed in my life. I felt like I was useless, worthless, and most of all, stupid beyond my own comprehension. I kept trying to "suck it up" and move on with studying for the next exam which would be in another two weeks. I felt okay about it, but that was exactly how I felt about the first exam. The nervousness and uncertainty of it all made my stomach churn.

It was a week before my exam, about 9:30 and I was cooking dinner. My doorbell rings. And all bundled up in a hat and scarf was Reed. I think I literally felt my heart stop. I dropped to the floor in the kitchen crying.... bawling my eyes out. He came into the kitchen and sat on the floor next to me on the floor and wrapped his arms around me. After a few minutes of my absolute hysterics, I asked: "do you want pasta?" He laughed. I kept crying.

I asked him why he came up to visit me. "I was worried about you, and I felt I had to be with you." I had never felt so rescued in my life.

After calming down a bit, I told Reed that I had a commitment to go to Sacramento with my class and that (surprise!) he was coming with me.

This experience has brought a lot of things to mind. If you know of anyone who is suffering from depression, please, be the hand that reaches out. Those who are depressed actually talk about how they are feeling if you are to but simply ask.